Where's My Pumpkin Chai

[Intro – Slow Build, Overdramatic Whisper]
I checked the app…
I checked the sign…
You said “Coming Soon.”
But when, Starbucks?
WHEN?!

[Chorus – Hook]
Where’s my pumpkin chai?!
I’m in line, bout to cry
Don’t talk to me — don’t even try
Till that fall leaf hits my eye

It’s boots and sweaters, mood on spice
My soul ain’t right till that chai tastes nice
If it ain’t steamin’ with that PSL swirl
Imma flip this cart like a basic girl

[Verse 1 – Frustrated Fall Queen Flow]
I got flannel on standby, scarf in the Jeep
Mood board saved and my vibe ain’t cheap
Waiting since June, with the candle lit
For a chai so warm it could heal my ish

You bring out caramel, bring out mint
But this fall icon’s gettin’ tense
It’s not a want — this is need
This latte’s tied to my personality feed

[Verse 2 – Starbucks Showdown Energy]
Barista said, “It’s not here yet”
I said, “Check again. That’s a threat.”
One sip of spice and I transform
From tired mom to full fall storm 🌪

Stanley in hand, kids in the car
Bluetooth blarin’ sad indie guitar
I’m a Gen X snack with a caffeine plan
And I’ll burn down this drive-thru if I still can’t stan

[Bridge – Meltdown Moment]
Don’t test me with no cold brew drip
I want whipped cream with cinnamon tip
This ain’t a latte — it’s a lifestyle
I’m basic and proud, and I’m hostile

[Chorus – Repeat with Choir Behind Her]
Where’s my pumpkin chai?!
This is not a drill — this is my why
I got PTO and rage inside
I need my drink or someone’s gettin’ pied

[Outro – Spoken Word Sass Over Fading Beat]
I survived Y2K.
I birthed three humans.
I watched VHS rewind in real time.
I deserve…
a pumpkin spice chai.